Delightful! Two open studios in one day! And with an audience! What a difference they make! Dancing through my nervous excitement. Trying consciously to listen to them, to “connect” and be fine –all while composing.
I do not have the innocence of just doing what I love -of “just dancing.” Ten years ago this performance would have been no less self-conscious but without such a clear expectation of entrancing my audience -though in all honestly, I think I’ve always danced with the desire that I was enchanting someone and so always with an eye on people’s attentiveness. Always aware when they stopped to watch. Blatantly and unapologetically, the bystanders watch.
Now I have the hope and desire but also the compliments in my head –and with these comes a fear of disappointment, which disturbs the honesty/genuineness of my performance. But I need to use this to get rid of it, work through my desire to delight.