With Arvo Pärt I realize why I have a rule about practicing without music.
Music allows me to be indulgent. I dance without thinking nearly. I do compose to the music, but without continuity or the promise of performance –the creation occurs between me and the music and leaves an audience out in the cold. It remains too personal to be shared. Why does music release this intimacy?
I do not know. I am affected –as are we all– very strongly by sound perhaps because I am unable to interact with it in a productive way that would then be able to provide me with the comfort of some control. No, instead all I can do is follow –which is why music or sound lightens the burden of many a task, mostly those requiring a consistency in mood and focus. On the other hand, this is why choreographing to music is painfully difficult – because I am bound by it, unable to think or generate ideas, riding its emotions like a raft.